


I Wanna Hold Your Hand

by lornrocks



Category: Fandom: Heroes
Genre: 5+1, Angst, Handholding, M/M, Quixotic, Romance, Slash, Violence, fair warning, fiveplusone, friendly reminder we always hurt the characters we love, i'moverdramatic, petlar, pylar, this one is sad, whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-24
Updated: 2013-06-24
Packaged: 2017-12-16 00:41:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/855813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lornrocks/pseuds/lornrocks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Peter and Sylar Held Hands and The One Time They Didn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Wanna Hold Your Hand

5\. Okay, so it wasn't holding hands per se. But coming out of Matt's house and looking skyward, Peter knows he needs to get flight from Sylar or else the ride to New York was going to be super, super awkward.

Without even asking, he grabbed a hold of the other man's hand and squeezes, feeling the familiar rush of absorbing a power entering his system.

Sylar watches him, carefully, leaving slack in his hand so Peter doesn't think it's weird that he's squeezing back (which he totally wouldn't do, because how gay is that?)

Peter lets go after a second too long and beckons the other man to follow him back to New York.

4\. The next time, they're walking together through the carnival after arriving at Central Park. It's crowded, like Peter dreamed, and as they navigate through, Sylar just wants to grab a hold of Peter's hand to make sure he doesn't lose him. It sounds stupid, sure, it's not like he can't just figure out where Peter will be, but he worries anyway.

As they work their way through the crowd, a particularly viscous group of school kids come bursting through, and compulsively, Sylar's hand darts out and grabs a hold of Peter, pulling him forward and through until they're both out of the way.

Regretfully, he lets go, and Peter doesn't mention it later when they're walking back to his apartment.

3\. They've been living together for a few months now, and Peter realizes one morning while making a fresh pot of coffee that he's actually perfectly okay with his living situation. Sure, sometimes they got in petty fights, but honestly, it wasn't that bad. It was better than how things were before, when he worked until he couldn't stay awake anymore, coming home to an empty house.

Now, he works a little less than he did and comes home to a warm, familiar house and Gabriel's there to greet him, a sparkle in his eye and a smile across his face.

Maybe Peter's gone sappy in his old age, but he thinks that he's happy for a change. It's a nice change.

Gabriel comes into the kitchen, half asleep still and hair sticking in every direction, and Peter hands him a steaming cup of coffee and smiles. They eat breakfast, get dressed, and head out for a stroll. The recent downpour has caused the streets to be just a little less crowded than usual and they walk down the sidewalk in companionable silence, enjoying the crisp feel of the fall air.

As they walk, Peter wonders if it's worth it to step up his game, in a manner of speaking, and so, taking a risk, he waits until Gabriel's hand swings back in his direction, and he smoothly brings his own hand up to meet it, sliding their fingers together.

Gabriel doesn't pull away or make a face; instead, he squeezes Peter's hand and they continue walking. Gabriel doesn't let go until they're back at the apartment, when he pulls the other man close and presses a deep, lingering kiss to Peter's lips.

"I've been waiting so long," he whispers, when he pulls away, and Peter tangles his fingers in the taller man's hair and presses their foreheads together.

"I know you have," he whispers back, dark eyes looking up at desperate, hopeful ones. "I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."

Peter makes sure he lives up to that promise, that night and for as many more that he can.

2\. The hardest thing that Peter ever had to do was leave behind everything he had known.

It starts like this:

Through a combination of factors, be it his Ma's dreaming ability, Matt Parkman's ability to draw the future, or maybe even Noah Bennett's general suspicion of anything involving Sylar, they were found out.

And Peter realized very quickly that a whole lot of people were out to get Gabriel. _His_ Gabriel. So they left, they ran away, to someplace where no one would find them for a while, across oceans and in a small little city in Europe where they got jobs and lived in an artist's loft.

For a while, everything was going pretty okay.

That is, of course, until one day when Peter is staring absent mindedly at a calendar on his desk and he remembers that it's his Ma's birthday. A horrible, overwhelming feeling of homesickness washes over him and he ends up on their balcony, nursing a strong drink and staring at the sky.

When Gabriel comes out to join him, he tries to wipe away the tears starting to dry on his face, but Gabriel notices. He doesn't say anything, just sits down next to Peter and weaves their fingers together, sitting there for as long as it takes until he can get Peter to smile again.

But Gabriel knows Peter is hurting, that this is hardest on him most of all, and he can't stand hurting him anymore. A year after they ran away, Gabriel takes Peter's hand in his own and they return to New York, and they find themselves standing on the doorstep outside of Angela Petrelli's apartment.

"I don't know about this," Peter says, looking nervously at the door in front of him. Gabriel pulls him into a hug, planting a kiss on his forehead, before mumbling, "Trust me on this," and then he pulls away and before he can even reach forward and knock on the door, it's opening and Angela is there, pulling Peter in an embrace.

Gabriel pretends to be interested in something down the hall while mother and son embrace, but he can't help but pick up their exchange when Peter asks, "I thought you hated that I was with him, Ma," and Angela is shaking her head, surely she must be, and saying, "I don't care anymore, Peter, I just want my son back," and they hug some more.

After a bit, Gabriel's invited into Mamma Petrelli's apartment, with clear effort, and he thinks that maybe, things are going to be better.

He has no idea how wrong he is.

1\. They thought they were safe, they did, but then Angela has a dream and the two of them are running again. Gabriel made a lot of enemies, and they knew where he was now. They were coming for him.

"I'm not going to let them hurt you," Peter growls, glaring daggers out the window. Gabriel sighs.

"It's not me you should be worrying about, Peter."

Of course, the empath just frowns and goes back to looking out the window, angry at how everything is working out. Life is unfair. Life is cold.

"Who did you say is after me, again?"

Gabriel hopes giving something Peter to talk about instead of brooding might help, and the other man takes the bait, thinking for a minute before giving his answer.

"Ma says she saw Matt Parkman, Dr. Suresh, Noah Bennett, Hiro Nakamura, Ando, the Haitian and Claire. They were all teaming up against you."

"Is there anyone on our side?"

This time, the list is much shorter, with a simple, "Emma, Luke, my mom and possibly Edgar."

Gabriel is the one to frown this time, looking down at the floor again and then back up, trying to contemplate their options.

"We can't ask them to fight for us."

Peter nods.

"We need to run again, before they have a chance to get leverage against us," Peter is already heading towards the closet of the hotel room they're in, reaching for a bag, but Gabriel stops him.

"Leverage against me, Peter. You shouldn't- You shouldn't be involved in this."

The empath scowls, shoving Gabriel's hand off of him.

"If you're implying what I think you are Gabriel, so help me, I will kick your ass myself."

The man in question doesn't say anything, just looks down at Peter's hand, still gripping his shoulder hard, over to the door, then back to Peter's face.

"It might be the only way. We can't run forever. _You_ can't."

For a long, long moment, one that stretches on for what seems like an impossible amount of time, Peter stands there, squeezing Gabriel's shoulders with both hands, eyes firmly squeezed shut. When he reopens them, the hard look from earlier is gone, replaced with something softer, more melancholy.

"I don't care, Gabe. I don't fucking care. I'm not leaving you, and I'm not letting them hurt you, not after all we've been through. I love you."

Peter leans forward, tilting his chin up so he can catch the taller man's lips with his own. When they pull away, Gabriel knows that Peter is right. He can't leave either, no matter how much guilt tells him he doesn't deserve all this.

Two nights later, he wakes up and realizes that Peter is gone. He knows that the other man wouldn't leave him, not after that. He knows what's happened.

Filled with a rage and purpose he hasn't felt since before the carnival incident, he stalks and finds every one of the people on Angela's list, demanding they tell him where Peter is. Most of them, surprisingly, have no idea. But a little sliver of doubt in Mohinder's mind tells him to find Matt Parkman.

Matt refuses to say anything, but Gabriel can see that he has to go to the New Company, where some rogue agents were keeping Peter, calling him a "threat". In reality, Gabriel knew what was really going on.

Peter was bait.

He takes it anyway, knowing full well it's a trap, and it's not until he's clawed his way through three floors of agents with guns and traps that he gets another lead. Noah Bennett is standing by a cell, with broken glass, and he just turns and looks at Gabriel with such an exhausted look in his eyes.

"It wasn't my idea," he begins, and Gabriel narrows his eyes. Bennett continues. "The New Company took Peter with the hope of catching you, but of course he escaped."

Gabriel eyes Noah carefully.

"I don't know where he is now, but you better hope you find him before they do."

Gabriel's about to leave when he notices a weird blood print left on a shard class. He picks it up and is immediately bombarded with images, of plans and escape routes, of hide outs, and he knows where he has to go.

He arrives at the Warehouse from Peter's memories barely an hour later, and is greeted with a trembling, blood splattered Agent holding a gun in his direction.

"It wasn't my fault," he says, and Gabriel cocks his head to one side.

"What wasn't your fault?"

"I didn't mean to shoot him. Oh God, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to shoot him, he came out of nowhere-"

Gabriel reaches a hand out and the Agent's gun goes flying away, landing with a dull thud on the floor. He holds the Agent in place, watching him squirm.

"Please don't kill me, please, it was an accident-"

He cuts the man off with his telekinesis and watches him for a moment before making up his mind.

"I'm not going to kill you. But so help me, if I see you ever again, I will not be as generous. Got it?"

The man nods and Gabriel releases his grip, not even bothering to watch the man run out of the warehouse and down the road, instead storming into every room until he finds what he's looking for.

Peter is propped up against a wall in a storeroom, head lolled to the side, holding his right arm up to the left side of his chest. Blood is dripping down his fingers and down his arm, some of it dripping on to the wall and floor behind him. He looks pale, too pale, but his chest moves slowly up and down none the less, and Gabriel is over there in a second, putting pressure on the wound with one hand while gently cradling Peter's face in the other.

"I'm sorry," Peter tries to say, but blood is bubbling down his chin and Gabriel shakes his head.

"It's okay, it's okay. You're going to be okay, Peter, I'm going to take care of you. Alright?"

Peter's eyes seem to lose focus for a minute before he blinks once and looks up at the other man. He nods weakly, and Gabriel catches something in his thoughts and moves the hand that was cradling his cheek down so he can intertwine their fingers together.

"You're going to make it, Peter, by now the Company is on their way here and you're going to be fine."

Peter squeezes his hand weakly.

"I love you," he weezes, and Gabriel tries not to wince as fresh blood starts to drip from between Peter's lips.

"I love you too, Peter. Always."

He holds Peter's hand until he hears Noah Bennett and some agents bursting into the room. Noah is about to ask what's wrong, but Gabriel turns around and Noah stops. The look in his eyes say it all.

0\. If it were up to Gabriel, he wouldn't go. He'd stay locked up in a dark room forever. But Emma and Luke are there, helping him into his suit jacket, helping him tie his tie, and then they're all being escorted to a dark, cold church filled with flowers and there are so many people there.

Gabriel wants to sit in the back. Emma pushes him until he's sitting in the first row and she sits on one side of him. Angela sits on the other.

He sits, quietly, staring at nothing and making himself, most of all, not look at the altar in front of him. He knows damn well what he'll find.

He realizes that someone is speaking to him. He looks next to him. Emma is smiling, softly, and he knows what she wants. He stands up and without looking up from the floor, walks over to the pulpit, standing up and looking firmly down at the top of the microphone in front of him.

"I wanted to thank you all for being here," he begins, willing his voice not to crack. "It...would have meant a lot to him."

For the first time, he looks up, and is greeted with so many people, some he knows, some he doesn't, and for once, he doesn't even care.

"Peter...was the kindest, most beautiful person I know. No matter who needed help, he was there for them, even if it meant that he was sacrificing his own comfort for them." He glances down the aisle at Hesam, who's surrounded by nurses and other medics, and the man nods.

"He couldn't hold a grudge to save his life, either. I guess I'm proof of that." He smiles, a sad, fond smile, and takes a breath. "And God, was he stubborn. Once he made up his mind, it took an act of God to change it. Even if that meant that he- that he was never going to come back home."

He makes the mistake of glancing to his left, and there it is, the elegant mahogany casket that Angela had picked out, covered in flowers. Perched next to it is a large, blown up picture of Peter, smiling at the camera while the sun rises behind him.

"Dammit, Peter," he exhales, quietly, and a lump is filling his throat and he manages one last, "Thank you," to the audience before he's stumbling away towards a vacant wing of the church.

He's barely stumbled over to a row of pews, leaning on the front of one for support, when he feels something behind him. Emma is there, holding one of his hands in hers, and then another hand is squeezing his other hand. He looks and closes his eyes when he sees that it's Claire. A few more hands appear, to rub his back in soothing circles or squeeze his shoulder, and he doesn't need to look to know that these people, who once hated him, were here comforting him. Comforting each other. Because of Peter, Peter who was gone and never coming back...

A delicate hand reaches up and wipes his tears away, and he opens his eyes to find Angela Petrelli, looking much, much older than her years.

"You hate me, I don't understand..." He trails off. "Why?"

She seems to think for a moment, before reaching up and cupping his cheek with her palm.

"He loved you. That's enough."

It takes a while, but slowly, Gabriel starts to feel less alone again. People come by to see how he is, to make sure he's eating and has someone to talk to, and even as weeks turn to months and months to years, the feeling grows stronger, until one day, he's holding Emma's newborn son in his arms, marveling at this miracle, this perfect little being that his friend created, and he begins to understand.

When Peter breathed his last all those years ago and left Gabriel alone, he was so angry. Angry at Peter for leaving him, angry at that agent for shooting the man he loved, angry at himself for not doing anything about it. But now, here he is, moving on, helping people and doing his best, and he feels not so alone anymore.

Later that day, he goes to Peter's gravestone and rubs a hand reverently across the lettering.

"You were right, Peter. You never left me."

No matter what happens, Gabriel knows he'll never be alone. Peter lives on through him, and Emma, and everyone else he knew when he was alive, and maybe, just maybe, that might be enough to keep Gabriel going.

He gently sweeps away the leaves around the headstone before saying goodbye and standing up to leave, casting one last look before heading out the gates. He has promises to keep, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Written a long time ago for LJ. Also I'm not sorry.


End file.
